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The Guardian: The Road Back to Happiness (fim fiction)

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The Guardian: The Road Back to Happiness (fim fiction)

Post by Ronineter on Fri Jan 11, 2013 8:33 pm

About a half year ago I wrote the begin of my own Fimfiction story. after the release of the first chapter it became clear that my writhing skills in English were far below average and nobody could actually read it. The last half year I asked IblitzkriegI for help on the story wich i want to tank him gratefully for it. He helped me a lot a I let him down by just stopping with it and pretending I am doing work on it while I was truly bizzy with other unpredicted stuff and started lying to him. But to since I Don't have to do such more wich interfears with it so I am sharing it here with the pony Clan I just joined and let others give their opinions on it.

The story


The guardian a road Back to happiness is a story about a man that got great powers to protect his world at the Apocalypse. He find's himself his whole life responsible for every thing what went wrong in His universe and also sees his power and invincibility more a curse than a Gift. After a long during space war he ends up in an other universe in Equestria. Being unable to return he decides to stay there, with the first intention to go back when he has the first chance. This is however not a easy as he thought it would be. Still being traumatized by the wars he fought in or just things that happened in the past, having flashbacks and nightmares of his own. He lives under the pony's which he didn't have a clue that such a thing could exist or behaving a way he never saw in his life. He tries to blend into the new community he came in which really fails since he is not a pony. But still he has his robot companions with him and technology which the pony never even dreamed off, He is in his return as much wondered by the world he is in. When the story continues there is a lot more going on which both sides don't know what is happening. These events confront him with his past and he finds the person he once was back again.

I am asking here for people that can give me opinions on the way I write and give feed back about my way of story telling before i release it.

You can find it here.

http://www.fimfiction.net/chapter/180636

Password: space






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Ronineter
sux@englis

Posts : 264
Age : 23
Location : Dongen - Netherlands

http://www.Gamersnet.nl

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Re: The Guardian: The Road Back to Happiness (fim fiction)

Post by HerrCommandant on Sat Jan 12, 2013 12:09 am

I don't have time to read it now, but I'll put it on my 'Read it Later' list.

And if you want opinions you can join this group: http://www.fimfiction.net/group/197236/overlyextensive-editors (Still pretty small group)

HerrCommandant

Posts : 25
Age : 18
Location : Daneland

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Re: The Guardian: The Road Back to Happiness (fim fiction)

Post by Valkyrie on Sat Jan 12, 2013 12:15 am

I don't have time now to read it (I may find some during weekend), but there is one thing I can tell you for sure about fimfiction.net - you NEED a good picture to have your story noticed. It's not a warrant, but sure helps. A lot.

Also having super-duper-long description makes some people go "meh, tl;dr".

I'll write something more constructive fic-wise later, when I actually read it.
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Valkyrie

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Location : Poland

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Re: The Guardian: The Road Back to Happiness (fim fiction)

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